No one heals when they hold onto their wounds. It doesn’t matter who did what to whom. You may have your feelings but really pay attention to how you feel holding onto them. Does it make you feel better? Does it improve your life? Assigning blame doesn’t really help the situation. It doesn’t make you feel better. It just makes you feel that it isn’t your fault so that you should be getting sympathy from others. It also blocks you from moving on and creating something that is much more healthy and valuable. You thrive when you learn to let go of the blame game. People come and go in your life. Learn, heal and move on. Each of you must follow your own way. As one leaves you, another comes in. Enjoy the time you have with those who are in your life, while they are in your life.
If you are being abused find a way to get out of the situation. If you are abusing someone, find a way to get out of the situation and stop abusing others. There are people who will illicit feelings from you that might not be healthy. You are looking to create healthy relationships and not situations where you create ill will and emotional roller coaster rides. People can argue and work things out but only if both parties are working together to work things out.
If some relationship is over, allow it to be over. You don’t need to rehash what you did or what they did, unless it is to help you stop something that isn’t working for you so you can break dysfunctional patterns. Ask how something works for you or is serving you. That will help you gather what information that you need to move on. The focus is being able to move on and grow.